Last night while I was channel surfing I stumbled upon the Teen Choice Awards. It's been a while since I sat through a teen awards ceremony, and the results were well, interesting. My top 10 thoughts throughout the two hours I stuck with the show were the following:
1. Demi Lovato's ponytail was insane. Reminded me of My Little Pony a bit. Why is this girl famous?
2. Speaking of which WHY IS KRISTEN STEWART FAMOUS?! She's so awkward and seems to hate that she has to be there and be nice to people. I get that she's Snow White pretty, but what the eff, pretty girls are a dime a dozen in Holllywood, non?
3. Out of the entire cast of Glee they picked Artie to host? He and Demi are the two most awkward hosts ever. Chris Colfer's there, why didn't he host? Kurt is way cooler.
4. I'm so old, I have no idea who half of these people are. They must be out of Disney Channel shows or something? Maybe I don't watch enough TV. Mini wave for me!
5. Someday, I hope I look as good as Nina Dobrev looks in a dress. I've heard she does a lot of Pilates. Should I take up Pilates? Who am I kidding, I don't have it in me to do three hours of Pilates a day. Pilates is such a great word. Pilates.
6. Speaking of Nina Dobrev and people who I didn't know where on TV, why are there two Nina Dobrevs?! There's another girl at the show who looks just like her. Will the real Nina pull a Slim Shady and please stand up?
7. Selena Gomez looks really cute in pink. Best dressed girl at the event. She's like a healthy version of Miley Cirus. Selena, please don't do drugs and take naked pictures of yourself that end up on the internet, you seem so nice.
8. Everybody's so tan on this show. I need a tan ASAP, my skin looks green.
9. Pauly D is the DJ of this party. Seriously? You should've gown with the lesser famous Knowles sister. Why do all of these teens scream when they talk about Pauly?! Do they want to be him??? I'm worried.
10. Who are those two little girls with Ellen DeGeneres? They are so sweet they make me diabetic. Amazeballs.